why?

hmmm i don't know why...i don't know nething..i don't have ne answers..all i have are questions...but y is that..and i'm the one who belives that answers lie w/in..and no where else kan they b found..mayb i should start lookin' w/in once more....i remember when there was a time when i was confident and i was rich w/ optimizm...but at times one questions there own fuel of life and optimistic values...strange isn't it...the tides kan turn so easily..even w/ a single gentle breeze...a breeze one longs for when itz gone...a breeze that brings soft sounds and memorable smells...hmmm....i remember that breeze..the breeze of happiness and joy whenever it would kome...but now itz gone...and the longing still remains...if only there was a way for me to kapture that gentle breeze so it would b mine to cheerish for all time...and the music that so beautifully played whenever that gentle breeze kame...if only...if only i knew how..if only i knew why..if only i knew y things happen the way they do...but i do know...everything happends as a result of the choices u make..only u ureself kan kontrol ure destiny...i suppose i've forgotten that...but i'll never forget the memories...memories r the things which bring happiness during old age...when everyone grows old there isn't much to do physically but mentally is another story...mayb someday i'll look back at everything and chuckle a lil bit of whatz happend..i know and i understand y my childhood was y it was..and y the whole incident during sophmore year happend...mayb i'll slowly begin to understand y whatz jus happend has happend...nothing happends w/out a reason...w/out a lesson...there is a lesson to b learned..but not one that komes to mind so quickly nor easily..it'll take time...but i did learn something..time isn't on ure side per say...time ticks and u kan't kontrol it so do things in their appropriate time..don't let time b ure enemy..ure downfall..ure reason to regret the past...i'll learn to manipulate time..then one day..one day...yes one day i'll learn...they say to not regret the past..and i don't ..but i wish it was slightly different...sigh..kan't change much..kan only do what is needed to b done in the present and hope for a bright future...hopefully i won't make the same mistakes over again...sigh...i guess they say the third times the charm...lets hope that statements holds true.....but if ure wondering if feeelings kan fade away in an instant..well they don't..that takes time as well..time to let go..time to understand..time to let things naturally take itz place...and it will take time...but as of now..the kandle burnz bright but w/ pain u kould say..pain that well the kandle will never b taken....and it still burnz bright..slowly..and strongly..it does..yet itz only a matter of time until it blows out...mayb then a new kandle will b lit...mayb...kan't xpect one will..kan't really hope it will...just have to b ready for it...yeah..ready...i'll b ready...i guess the key was never taken fully...sigh...it would of been taken good kare of...i guess i'll have to give it to another one....but deep down inside iknow it woulda been great...but as always things jus stay deep down inside...but i'll b ready...

thatz y


posted by Leon at 12:25 AM