i'm sitting here on the komp in the dark...yeah the darks purdy nice...itz like i'm all alone..jus me and my thoughts...yeah i dunno hmm..i know ib etter jus ramble on now so when i do sleep...it won't linger in my mind and it won't keep me from getting a good mornings rest...yeah hmmm blah blah blah yada yada yada..it hink i'm gonna try not to go online as much..well mayb i'll b online but u won't b able to see me...in other words..back to ghosting.....yeah i dunno...mayb itz jus time for me to start ghstoing again...i dunno i'mgonna have to figure out how i'm gonna do it w/ AIMm well i have an idea how and stuff but i dunno we'll see...yeah hmm yeah kuz on my otehr sn the pny one i'm always ghosting on that one....i don't think ne one really noticed well cept for Sushi...yeah he's theonly one who's been noticing stuff lately...yeah and he's been my partner in bordumm..and y is it getting all hot...blah mayb itz kus the labtop's been on for like phreakin 4 or 5 hours i gues si dunno...hmm i'm listening to the Michelle Branch cd...the new one..itz like therapy or like advice in melodik form...i dunno hada bada yada yada hmmmi was thinking aboutthis today..yeah i dunno i'm really tryin ghard not to komplain aboutnething...i dunno...general or specifick or i dunno...kuz i dunno who am i to kokmplain...everythings purdy damn good u know..and y does it feel like something more is needed i dunno ..mayb i jus need another slap upside the head or something...or mayb another lekture from pD ...hmm i dunno...i should jud try to b kontent..but then again when it hink about that it reminds me of a good friend of mine who i won't name kuz that person doesn't deserve that...and well she deserves to b happy but it seems liek she's never really happy only temporary u know..and it always bugz me when that person komes to me and tells me this kuz i wanna find that perfect remedy but at the same time i'm thinking 'how kan u NOT b happy:!?" u know but at the same time i don't know her full situation and iknow that personwell enough to know ne better..but now i kinda find myself in tha tpersons shoes somewhat..kind of not kontent w/ things i dunno...and mayb not happy i dunno..well i think i'm happy...i dunno maby i'm jus questioning everything too much and krap..blah.....i think i need some time to write everytying..wait a sek..tahtz what i'm doing righ tnow..yeah i'm not looking for ne answers or ne komments i jus needed to get krap out and i'mreally being general kuz i know people know or have been reading this well enough to figure out whatz going on rightnow and for those who don't get it..itz ok..i.tz for me to know..and u to wonder...as simple as that..but if u kare enough u kan take a krack at it...u proally wont' b able to get it but yeah...blah i dunno mayb i jus need to see a smile...or hear that laugh....sigh...i dunno..blah....y is this happening...?...y right now?...i don't get it....i feel lost but not lost but lost in a sure way i dunno how to say it..itz like i know whatz going on and i know stuff but i guess i kan't accept certain things..ormayb i dunno i dunno i dunno sometimes...blah....i need musik...blah but Michelle Branch isn't really helping..she's jus making me wanna think more and more..and blah..b.lahb lah blah..yada yada yada..hmmm.....hmmmm hahah phunny....Michelle Branch jus sang right now 'Tuesday morning in the dark' and now itz Tuesday morning and i'm in my room in the dark...phunny huh?..i'm telling u this musik always gets to me...like i dunno..whenever i'm feeling a certain mood..itz ususally troubled ones..or indifferent ones or konfused onez is when the musik hits me..and it feels as if everysingle song i hear is tailored for my situation or whateverz..i dunno..blah....i need a vakation that i'll never get....i wanna go away to aplace i'll never b able to go...i wannna leave behind the things i'll never b able to let go and leave behind....one day someday...i'll show the world.....sigh.....some day.....one day.....happy dayz?
posted by Leon at 2:20 AM