ok itz like 834 and i have nothing to do..don't feel like studying..i know i said tomorrow..and i still say tomorrow..thatz the end of that..and yeah i guess i'll blog...get some thoughts outa the system and what not...alrighty....yeah i figure since mydsl has been whack for the past week or so ..that i might as well jus take a long break from being online again..yeah..i might b serious..i might now..who knows....but yeah...i'll jus check email so i'll know when therez choir praktice..but other than that i proally won't use it i dunno we'lls ee.....i told Annie that i bet no one would notice..and she said "i would notice" and i said "well of kourse u would i always talk to u online haha" and then i thought "oh Sushi proally will since he's like the watcher of all things online and stuff"...yeah i guess i'm finally admitting to myself that i'm stuck in some weird limbo..i dunno....mayb kuz i have no motivation right now..well Muckey said he'll give me this motivational poster..w/ some motivational quote on the bottm haha...i dunno.....i don't think it'll help...mayb itz jus down time..yeah..that phreakin' astrologikal krap has been kinda true so far about this beeing a whateverz whateverz whateverz kinda month...damn i dont' even play guitar everyday..whatz up w/ that..and i kan't blame it on dancing....yeah...damn wtfs wrong oh well..it'll proally pass and krap..yeah.....nex week is spring break...i'm only xcited at the fakt that i'll get to sleep in....and thatz it..the end..u know i dunno....itz not like ima go newhere or nething....i have no plans..i'll proally jus end up kleaning all day everyday since more visitors from Pi r koming...damn this house is gonna b phreakin' full in like two weeks...yeah..damn....blah oh well....i think itz jus a phaze..yeah.....mayb i need to cycle in some old rekords or whateverz..mayb that might do the trick...mayb i'll start that tomorrow...or mayb i'll start to write poems again who knows...i dunno...blah...to this....blah to the sicknes...blah....yeah....hmm April is koming up...3 birthdayz i think..my Bro's..my Neices and my Kuyaz(kuzzin)...yeah ..and then theres uhh....Easter...Salubong mass..i think thatz theone..the hella early int hep hreakin' morning one...i don't even know if we're singing for that one stiill..then uh the whole mass thingi retirement thing for the Sisters...yeah...dang.....yeah...i dunno whateverz..and then in may.i think the end of may for memorial day weekend we're going to vegas or whateverz...i'm jus whateverz about that....Aaron wants to kome this year...i dunno how that'll go..we'llsee hopefully itz kool....yeahand Dominic's gona b w/ his fam at golden nugget or whateverz kuz itz his sisters celebration bday thingi or watheverz...he keeps on sayin we're gonna party or whatevezr..and itz gonna b phun or whateverz..but i dunoo..we'lls ee..yeah....mayb itz jus being sick thatz putting me in this mood...oh well who knows...yeah back to the vegas thing..yeah i'm 18 this year or this time..so i kan aktually stay out late..but i dunno if i 'll feel like staying out late haha..yeahi dunno i'lll see....i'm old enough to hit up the nudie barz and stuff..but i dunno..mayb i'll go if Kuya Elmer joins us...i dunno we'll see..yeah...hmm i dunno...blah. yeah..hmm..i dunno ne more...blah stupid limbo....blah whateverz..the end


*907
phreakin' aye 30 min. later and i still got shit to do....damn......an di kan't go to sleep kuz i took a 2 hoursnap ealier..phreakin' aye..blah blah blah blah blah..i'll write down randomthoughts i guess....i remember i forgot what day or even when it was....Aaron was like "Damn Bro i hung up my player kard already..itz all laminated and everything" and is aid "ohh for real" and he said "yeah u kan borrow it if u want haha" and i said"nahh i'm kool " damn.....i wondder what woulda happen if i did "borrow it" haha..phrekakin' aye...i should jus go away for a while and jus b different..yeah like in that one smallville episode..when klark goes all bad and shit..and leaves smallville to go to phreakin' metropolis and whateverz...yeah he's all jus living out his darker side u know..i dunno...i dunno sometimes i think damn..what if i wasn't all nice and stuff u know..what if i was a total asshole...and i treated everyone like shit......like i didnt' give aphuck or nething.....like i jus i dunno did whatever the hell i felt like w/out thinking about what would happen and how i shouldn't do it kuz in the future it'll bite me in the ass and i'll 'regret' it or blah blah...yeah...that would b krazy kinda i think..i dunno....but then again i wouldnt' wanna do nething to get into jail..kuz if u gotta answre this question b4 u go to jail ..."do u wanna b someones b*tch?"..yeah and if ure down w/ that then itz ok to do krap that'll get ure arrested and put into jail and what not..but not..then u shouldn't b doing nething then....if u aint ready to grab ure ankles..u aint ready to spend some time in the slammer..yeah...and i've already had plenty of talks about what goes and and krap and bla hb alh...but yeah...not really do that kinda bad stuff u know..i guess i dunno jus b more whateverz and jus do things....damn..that would b weird tho..i bet in an alternatate reality somewhere..there is a me..who's the total opposite....everyone hates and stuff....treats everyone like shit and like toyz to b played w/ or game peices to manipulate however u want and stuff.....dang i wonder how that kat is doing.....or what that version of me is thinking u know..hmm...whateverz....i wonder what woulda happen if i did everything thatz ever happend differently...like i dunno..made the other choice....would i still b the same?..would i still have the stuff i have? the people who i'm kool w/? real friends? real 'friends'? aquaintences?...bros?...damn...would i even still b alive?...dang....i bet i wouldn't tho..and if i was then i wouldn't b happy..jus a feeling....i think i wouldn't...i dunno..who knows..mayb i would of ....whateverz...

the mind works in strange wayz
brings happyness at one momment and sadness other dayz
sometimes u feel like doing nothing
when the reality is no matter how much nothing ure doing ure always doing something
life is indeed a strange existence
were born then we live then we die in an instant
of pain or suffering or komplete happyness
at times thatz all we want but we kan never have
we strive for it all our life through a road that seems endless
but not all of us are aware of the true happiness that we will ever have
the road is long and it doesn't seem to end
but in this poem this is the end.

..whateverz...blah.
posted by Leon at 8:51 PM