*1046

i feel like sleeping already...damn....f(*)ck...i suck at guitar now..i kan't figure nething out..i kan barely figure out the intros to songs..how weak sauce is that...i'm no where where i need to b...damn after this weekend i'mnot gonna go newhere ...seriously....i'm gonna have to shut out the world...i don't kare ne more...i need to koncentrate on my musik...to many peopel have been getting in the way...yeah i said it..."getting in the way"..i need to get my shit done....no more kid shit ne more..no more like playing around and havingphun.itz time to get serious..fuck...itz fuckin' time to get serious and start things....itz time to get somewhere in life...not jus sitting around and xpekting shit to happen...kuz u gotta work ure ass off if u want things..especially if u want them done right u know..ug otta do shit..ure OWN fucking shit...u KAN'T let other people do things that u need to do...and if they're not on the same page then fuck it...u know what u gotta do...if they aint gonna hang then jus loose 'em..they're jus xtra baggage....damn...i wanna perform....i have all this fuckin' energy and shit..and itz been bottled up for a long as time..but how the hell am i suppose to perform if i aint got shit to sing or play...fakt of the matter is that i need to write stuff....and i aint gonna b able to write stuff if i'm jus online waiting all day for konversation...fuck u know what i'm jus gonna sign offright now w/out saying "bye"...yeah.... ok there..i'm offline....step one done.... damn...i waste alota time jus being online..i never really thought of it till now....*turns around and looks at the mess in the room..damn i guess what they say about how klean ure room is and how it relates to ure thoughts in ure head and how they are...right now they're all skattered..everytime i klean them up they all get fucked up again..shit...fucking shit getting in the way..y don't u jus phreakin' flush down the toilet already....thatz where shits supposed to go in the phreakin' toilet..not like loiter around in ure brain u know....damn i guess it doesnt' help if i'm always surrounded by lazy people..oh well...kan't blame nething on neone xcept ureself....so fuck u self..u aint doing shit right...do shit right dammit....i got all this krap due..i shoulda done it earlier damn...i should b doing it now..damn..i should huh....ehh i'll go to sleep after this...no ones talking online..oh wait i'm no longer online..that problem solved....yeah...i'll proally erase my bl or whateverz soon..itz already full ne one..full of people who usually don't say much other than "hey...i'm fine " then blank...i sware...i feel like going away for like 2 yearz or something and not talk kto neone here..and jus kome back and then see if ne one will notice...yeah...i feel like going out there and xperiencing another life so to speak u know...another world of this world...alli know is what i've known..i wanna know more...iw anna seemore..i don't wanna know jus this..i wanna know everything....i have this feeling that i'm either gonna go out there and do something great or jus stay back and do something purdy good i guess.....yeah....i dont' wanna b another one who's stuck here...kuz i see all these people in their 20's and such nearing there 30's and they neverwent ne where..y? u may ask?..hmmlets see..well a good number of 'em had children early in their twenties hmmm..i wonder y...hmmm....other people jus never fully went for their dreamz and jus settled for whatever was given to them....some of 'em i guess didn't strive for the best of things...yeah jus was like whateverz kleverz..i wanna make something do something be something..kuz i am something.......i kan't jus konfine what i have to say or advize on in this area...the world needs other views other perspektives and i need some of those also...damn....i kan't wait tilli graduate...i'm already looking forward to it..i dont' kare about the partying or getting drunk or getting laid or skrewing around and b eing a dumb ass..i honestly kan kare less about that stupid shit..i wanna go for the gold u know...skrew the minor immediate forms of gratifikation..i want the real deal...not the fake stuff u know..not the jus NOW stuff i want the stuff that'll last for time u know..damn.....that'll suck if i'm like the first to die.i bet i'll b pised if i die first....dammit..i wanted to live forever..thatz what i'll proally say when i'm leaving or whateverz..i'll b skreamingor whateverz"damit i wanted to b the last to die..i still have things to do...damn u body..." haha yeah....oh well if i DO die first then it'll b a wake up kall to all the dipshits who keep on skrewing up...kuz it'll show them even that those who try there hardest kan have their life taken away like krazy u know...so all u dipshits stop being such dipshits u fuck heads u ...dammit....damn .......*skratches hair...damn itz purdy long now..i. feel like kutting it already..but i don't want to...itz like when u wannna get rid of a bad habbit or someone who bugz u u know...u know it doesn't reallly matter most of the time but when it really bugz u jus wanna get rid of it....and at times u say ure going to but u jus kan't..well not jus yet..and when u aktually do u don't let all of it go..u. jus keep jus a lil bit of it w/ u...so u won't forget..but eventually over time...that part will b kut off and stuff..yeah....i kan't wait till summer time..i don't know y....i've never been this hoepfully for summer..ij us wanna do my musik thing and nothing else..i kould kare less about everything else....i really wanna do this u know...shit.....if it doesn't work out then whateverz..at least i gave it my all u know...but i won't know right away..so i'm gonna have to start soon....yeah i bet people will proallyt hink that itz kinnda messed that i'm beginning to slowly isolatemyself once again..andi'm being all selektive w/ thepeople who i keep in kontakt w/ and what not u know..but hey..i dunno..itz jus something i have to do....i kan't always help everyone..what will happen when i'm gone..or when i leave this place u know.....or when my cell phone battery dies or when my internet konnection goes out u know..u gotta figure shit on ure own..dammit ...do shit on ure phreakin' own..don't alway rely on people...yeah thatz what i'm learning in kollege..u kan't xpekt people to show u the ez way u know..u gotta walk around and figure things out...ask questions...think things through...there are no ez answers out there or solutions or nething.....damn i'm tired of typing...the motherphreakin' end.
posted by Leon at 11:07 PM