random thought said in my head:

"i wish the people who know me from way backindaday would know me the way people really know me u know the people who know whatz in my head and whatz in my heart"

ok i guess itz time to blog i haven't really thought nething or forced my self to type nething in a while..i've kinda jus been keeping it to myself u know...and thatz not xactly really good..but then again i really haven't ne way to let it out...like musik sometimes...but i haven't talked it over or nething..not even w/ myself in my head..but i guess this will have to do...ok so skool..my grades for last semester...A- in akting..B+ in English...C+ in critikal thinking and D in my computer science klass...yeah i was kind alike whateverz about 'em..i kinda knew that iw as gonna get something similar to what i really got.....hmm..ok uhh i guess i'll talka bout summer skool next...so far itz kool i guess..i still really haven't read that much..well only like two pages..and i have to read like 13 chapterz by nex week...and yeah..klass is kool..Sushi's there..and Sushi's sister's boyfriends sister also..yeah..so itz not like all weird and i'm the only one in there u know..so yeah...oh and on the first day i saw..uhh..Dominic...Sushi...Sushi's sisters boyfriends sister...Shibbydan and Shibbygf....Vincent...Rhenalie...and yeah...sekond day i saw Krystle and Vanessa but they didnt' see me...third day is aw Krystle and jus chitchatted w/ her a lil bit...yeah...i seriously need to read this up and koming week but yeah...uhmm hmm what else kan i talk about....ohh..yesterday yesterday was Neil's graduation.that was kool...felt kinda weird tho..i dunno...i didn't realize howmuch time has passed since wheni graduate a lil over 4 yearz ago and i started thinking of how much has changed..and itz like phreakin' a LOT u know damn..itz krazy...but yeah..i dunno..i see the way Neil is and all i kan say is like "good luck" u know kuz highskool is one krazy place and id unno...i wished someone told me things b4 i had to figure them out u know..but i think itz good i figured them out..i jus hope Neil does...but yeah...then went home and everyone jus so happend to show up all at once u know..which was kool..not much waiting for things to get rollin'..but yeah..and then i ate and yeah..and we jus jammed for like the whole night..it was purdy dope tho..i really haven't jammed like taht and felt that kinda energy and xcitement and goodness in a LONG time u know...damn i kinda miss it..well not kinda..i DO miss it...itz a damn good feeling but damn....i think we sound better..well i hope we do i mean..3 yearz has passed since we started like jamming and stuff...so yeah we should sound better..but i wanna take things up another notch tho for my bday u know..i really really really wanna kick ass for my bday..but hopefully id unno..itz on me and on us...mainly on me...kuz i know if i get my sh(*)t done Dominic's bound to follow and if i start prakticin againand like really learning i knwo he'll start eventually also...so yeah....hmm what else...yeah...i dunno lifes a learning period...uhh hmm what else..i still haven't really talked to the person i had to...i kidna did but we really didn't talk thoroughly she said she was gonna kall tonight..but she didn't..no surprize but ohwell...at least itz out there that we need to talk u know...at least therez somewhat some foreground and basis there u know..but yeah...i dunno damn..jus right when u think ure done w/ a certain fish..u still wanna swim back to it kuz it still kinda atttraktz u still kind of but whateverz...whatever happens happens despite what happens...yeah..thatz kopyrighted by me...so dont' take it..or i'll take ure face...hahaha...yeah...if u didn't check it out..go to Dominic's Blog and check out the piktures..the'yre phreaki'n phunny...but yeah..what else.oh yeah my choir..krap..i'm gonna b phreaki'n buzy w/ that...kuz like our big project now is a phreakin musikal..yeah u heard me right a phreaki'n phull on hard kore musikal...no halfassing involved..the real deal.....and we wawnna have it in November..so yeah we gotta liek raise a gang of money and like figure out what to do and damn phreakin' aye in like damn not enought time but it hink if we really want it we kan do it..but we'll see how this goes..i kinda want it..kuz it'll give us wayy more kredibility u know and plus it'll b a major learning xperience for me u know...and i'm always up for learning and stuff..but yeah..and also were gonna b doing like so many fundraisers and krap and damn...blah..oh well there goes my freetime which is like everything haha..bu ti'm kool w/ it tho..kuz i really dont' go out that much u know..and i dunno...mayb itz what i really reallyr eally need..and i'll learn komunikation skillz and pr skillz and business skillz andstuff u know..and people skills..wait thatz pr skillz haha..but yeah..and also like w/ the way we jammed outon the night of Neil's grad..damn we rocked out purdy damn good..and we really r serious now about prakticing..b4 it was jus jamming and laughing about the idear of aktually prakticing u know..but now itz like "u get a set list together..and i get set list together and w'ell see what songs r really worth it and yeah" and itz like we're all planning it out and krap..but damn...and i still wanna doo those kafe shop gigs....and like if Willy's band gets a gig Dominic y yo r gonna b like opening up u know..and damn..i dont' wanna half ass that AT ALL ....i don't have like Willy's leads and vokalz to hide my mistakes or Neil's bass playing to hide my lack of the song or lik enething to hide kuz itz jus gonna b Dominic and me and damn..we really gotta b ready...and i know i'm kinda gonna b buyz but so will he so we really gotta work at this sh(*)t so i guess it'll b our first time really really really being somewhat serious about our musik...hmm...yeah...and i gotta write my own stuff too..i haven'treally written much poetry or really played and jus sang out loud for a while..i need to start doing that again u know..blah..it was ezier last year..i always had pD like reminding me to play guitar and to praktice and to always work towards my goal and stuff..now itz basikally jus me on my own...no one to give me that xtra nudge..so i guess ima really have to do this for myself now..not for ne one else..but yeah...hmmm life doesn't get ne simpler the older u get....i wish kids would realize that....i was really naive and didn't even think of those things...but now i know..boy do i know...i guess itz about time to start changing even some more..pD said that i'm changing...i finally acknowledge the fakt that iam...and this change is welkome..itz very different...different in deed but itz good tho...i guess itz jus the kourse of life....hmmm i miss my guitar....ifonly i kould find that peice of paper and jus get it back..blah..stupid mess room.....where the hell did i put that peice of paper...blah....all i need is my guitar jus for one day u know..i need that musiakl feel good inside boost haha..i may sound weird or krazy but i'm serious..i need her..hahaha...i kalled my guitar.."her" hahahaha....i guess ir eally am a guitarist hahaha...only guitarists and well musicians really name their instruments hahaha..hmm...

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. E.P. Jones

Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own. Henrich

me 17 0 3 1: itz always good to know some kind of an idea of what u kan get ureself into
BATMA17: yeah, but it's hard to understand without First POV
BATMA17: :-/
BATMA17: we're not them... we're not each other... we're our own selves
me 17 0 3 1: i know but i don't xpect ne one to ever understand nething i tell them first hand..i jus want them to remember what i say
BATMA17: spread the word,,,... *nods head
me 17 0 3 1: yeah
me 17 0 3 1: xactly
BATMA17: expect nothing afterwards
me 17 0 3 1: yeah
me 17 0 3 1: itz all on them
me 17 0 3 1: but i know i did my part
me 17 0 3 1: i guess thatz the superhero in me
BATMA17: *nods head
me 17 0 3 1: we kan't help everyone but we kan try to help them help themselves

this feeling i long for i know i kan't have
despite this fakt i know i'll still try
inner questions will force me to think why.
i know it'll hurt and it'll kause me to go mad
but i guess i'm jus gonna have to hurt once more
to help me feel what i still long for.
posted by Leon at 12:30 AM