Title: Artists and their tortured souls

ok so i lie i won't b talking about that but i jus thought i'd start it off w/ something a lil different than 'yeah i kan't sleep so i guess i'll jus blog' ...so yeah i jus got off the phone w/ Annie..lo siento i woke u up...i always end up telling her what goes on...itz been that way since uhh...?....sophmore year in highskool..she's a koool homegurl..everyone should have a homegurl like that who will jus say "ohh" to everything and then have a question every now and then..yeah...so i'm still listening to this song over and over and again... itz kallled Violins...the more i listen to it and th emore i analize it the more i understand it and the more i kan relate to what he's singing about...i guess i've finally accepted my purpose and destiny in life.... "all the gurlz that i'll ever like will end up telling me the 'friends speech' and i'm jus going to have to live w/ it and then face the next one that komes along" so i guess thatz my fate..i mean i always told myself i wanted to b a musician..or a song writer...i kan't really play w/ ne feeling if i don' thave ne feelings to portray or to u know xpress...and i kan't really write ne songs that people kan relate to if i don't xperience what they xperience..and i'm purdy shure i've blogged about this more than enough but oh well itz on whatz on my mind right now....so yeah...heartache and all that 'good stuff'...i think i'm bekoming a lil more and strangely enough ..somewhat positive about heartache...i mean i hate it when i have to sew my heart back together...i really do...itz quite painfull...and i hate spilling my blood everywhere kuz it jus i dunno it leaves stains...and i kan see it around me and how they affect certain people...but yeah...i guess it komes w/ the territory..u think u win one but u still end up loosing them all..oh well...i guess thatz what i'm destined for....the 'friends speech' over..and over and over and again...so yeah b4 i forget i have an idea of jus rekording a pre rekorded 'friends speech' for the gurlz in the future..but Annie said it would b better if i were to like write it down..and then i thought about it so yeah...i honestly think i'll end up doing that..i'll jus write it all down and i'll keep it in my wallet..so nex time a gurl is gonna give me the 'friends speech' all i have to do is take out the preset speech and have them fill in the blanks of their name and date and etc. etc. u know..i mean it'll save them some time from wasting time on how to say it in a nice way to me...and i'll already have an idea of what they're gonna say so over time i'll bkome strangely jaded and it'll no longer hurt when i hear it....so yeah..thatz jus an idea i'm gonna work on....i like it so far..it seems good when i think about it..i know that there will b a number of individualz who will b upset w/ what my new plan is ...and they'll most likely want to refute it or whateverz and try to talk me out of doing it....but i don't think ne one will b able to talk me out of this one..and yeah i know i'm stubborn but oh well..thatz jus how i am....hmm yeah...i still haven't kalled some peopel for my bday..i still don't know what imma feed everyone or where i'm gonna have everyone...so far this is been a strange period for my bday...oh well...i'm not even really looking forward to it ne more...all i'm looking forward is jus being able to play allday...i kould really kare less if people don't show up or not....or if peopel even remember..i think this year i'm gonna turn off my phone for half of the day on my bday...jus to test them...i know thatz somewhat mean..but hey ...itz my day..and i guess i'll akt the way i want on my bday....whateverz....i jus wanna sing this one song that i wrote....i hope everyone will hear it..well aktually skratch that..i hope everyone will listen to the lyrics...kuz thatz y i wrote it...to tell a story...a very short one..but oh well...and jus a warning....if u don't listen or pay attention..we will play louder..and we will play faster...and if ure ears bleed then itz not my fault kuz i warned everyone b4 hand..kuz thatz how things go...if u wanna keep ure hearing on that day then all u have to do is listen to what i have to play and or say....deal w/ it and u kan forget about it the nex day..and don't komplain that we only get 21 and over shows and then show up to my house on MY phreakin' bday and not listen..kuz i'll b pissed....thatz the only thing i ever really asked for from people..well therez a kouple things....to be a good friend...and to listen...nothing else really..itz not komplikated..well i don' tthink it is...even tho i know itz hard for certain individualz to aktually b a good friend to some people...mayb kuz they don't know how..they don't want to..or i dunno...they kould kare less...and the same goes for listening...kuz for me honestly..i tell everything the way it is...and if people were to only listen to kould figure out what i'd say in my next sentence..but no one really pays attention these dayz...no one picks up on lil things ne more....oh well they're loss not mine...yeah....oh well...i jus hope i don't b kome all 'emo' or whateverz after all these gurlz rip out my heart...i'm surprized i'm not all 'emo' already...i havenothing against it...and i don't even like the fakt that the media has koined a term for a certain group of individualz..but whateverz..stupid media...but yeah....i guess i'll have to live the life of a tortured soul in order to write songs and to xpress feelings...that r true to who i am...and true enough for people to understand....

hmm...tortured soul....doesn't sound all that bad..xcept the fakt that itz a painfull road of life.
posted by Leon at 1:53 AM