Title: i kan't sleep because i was woken up this morning to drive my grandparents to the bus that'll take them to a casino and kuz the krazy lady kalled me and she was bored and needed someone to keep her entertained when all i wanted to do was sleep and then when i went back to bed to sleep i had to get up asgain to start the laundry and so i'm tired of going in and out of bed and now this damn komputer is akting up.


i think thats the longest title i've ever written. ok so i think i got about 5 hrs of sleep ...maybe 6 if i'm being optimistik and i add everything up. ok so why am i here on my blogger at 1009am in the morning besides the fakt that whenever i try to sleep people wake me up and ask all of these things from me.

i was thinking about something and about change and about how i am. i know i've already talked about this subject quite extensively over the past 4 years i've had this blog but i guess its time to revisit this subject.

change. myself. i don't like change. i like the way things are. things are working. so why change it. "why change something if its not broken" i suppose people don't understand that...maybe some do...FINALLY..after getting to know me for quite some time..and others still haven't. i don't like change. ESP. when i know things are working. and things are working fine...and another thing i don't like is explaining myself. kuz i figure..hey if u really know me...well then you know me..you don't need an explanation..its jus the way things are..so just accept it. but i suppose some have yet to figure that out. ok so i don't like it when people tell me to change when they don't even understand the way i am..but how kan they understand if i don't telll them why....simple. figure it out. thatz how life is right? you ask all these questions and u do all these things and NO ONE...EVER tells u the answers..well at least w/ me w/ how i grew up..no one ever really told me how to figure things out...so i had to figure it out myself...and thatz how i xpect people to akt with certain aspekts....i have patiences(or is it patients?) for people who don't know me...but the more a person gets to know me the less and less patients i have for them...for example w/ my family....i don't have much patients w/ them...they've known me for a long time..so they're supposed to know how i am..so why should i kut them any slack..its either u get it or you don't...why do i need to klarify anything for you?...exactly there isn't a good reason to so jus deal with it. hmmm i dunno...but yeah i don't like explaining myself. i know not everyone has the capacity to figure me out let alone all the questions of life but i guess thatz jus the way i see things... life isn't handed to you in a silver platter...you have to work for it..u have to figure it out..you have to get in there and deal w/ everything. you basikally are on your own...so why should one need help. you have all you need. if only everyone would realize the delicate balance of independence and interdepencdence. you kan do everything on your own as long as you work w/ everyone else who's figureing out things on their own. i dunno... i haven't rambled like this in a long time. it feels good to jus say things. i haven't had anyone to hypothesize about life in a long time. if only that person was still around.

oh well

its just something i'm going to have to deal w/ on my own.

*breakfast kalls.

to be continued...
posted by Leon at 10:07 AM