Title: before i forget

slight intoxication leads to sleep deprevrivation

the numbness of my lips equals the numbness of your heart

hazel eyes ..ahh yes hazel eyes

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i'm graduating in may
i don't know what to do
i know what i wish to do and what i would rather be doing
but i don't know
i'm procrastinating away
i don't know what to do
i know what i should do but what i would rather be doing
but i don't know

so i'll be taking 3 classes next sem..the least i've ever taken ever...the plan was to only take 2 classes but i didn't pass this one class i had to retake..its kinda of an annoyance knowing for a fact that id idn't pass it the second time and now i have to take it again...and it screws up my whole schedule but whateverz...i'll deal w/ 3 classes...so for now i'll have next semesters mondays weds and fridays off...i'm going to need a part time job so i don't get lazy and so i can make some money...i have just realized i need to invest into some new equipment...that and i need to start saving up...buy a van...insurance...get a whole new set of clothes...yeah i can now honestly admit it...i am a 21 year old male who doesn't know how to dress...nor do i know how to express myself in terms of fashion...ehh ooh well.

so i've started thinking again...thinking and thinking and thinking...stuff is starting to happen again...in terms of brain waves...hmmm i dunno...

i'm watching friends right now..its a classic episode.

Closure i think is the theme

closure is something that i lack.

anyhoo back to random train of thoughts ok...hmm i've been listening to a lot of compilation albums as of late...comps that i've had in my possesion forever but never gave it a chance..i really need to start giving these mystery cds a chance...the last 2 that i've started to listen to are really really really good...i shoulda listened to them when i first got them..wait i already said that...i guess its that important...hmm

i'm starting to think and write in my head again...and i'm trying to write random things again on the guitar...no...no full songs...once i had a perfect song in my head..but i didn't write it down..so its gone..oh well...i've only been able to extract the major theme of the song..so i guess i'll take the painstaking measures of trying to reconstruct the song from nonexistent memmory.....

i need to expand my social network....nothing against the one that is already in existence but i feel that it is time to expand the circle so to speak...circle of influence....names in the phonebook....when i got the new phone and the dude was transfering my numbers from my old sim to the phone so i can transfer it back onto the new sim he was like "whoa 254 contacts" and i was like "ohh...yeah." and then i thought "not even half are of any real use...the rest is just to have to have when i need something." but is that what people really are....something to be used...hmmm then i got to thinking....is that why people who know everyone know everyone...to just use them for different purposes....and once there specific purpose is complete they become obsolete..as if they are no longer of any importance what so ever...hmmm...if that is the case then i suppose i need a greater number of people to just use for the sole purpose of whatever it is they are used for....is it wrong?...id on't know..i will find out....

ok so i have a new phone and no one has really called me so far..well the usualls and thats expected but no one else...could it be that no one really keeps in contact with me any more?...is it that i've as of late have begun to retract myself from social circles..as if i were fully integrated in more than one social circle to begin with.hmmmmm

do i envy those that have what i lack?..... hmmm i've never really thought about that...i honestly haven't....but now i start thinking about it...and it seems there are some truth in it....i don't know....i don't know....

i got a haircut...i haven't figured out what to do with it..it could present itself in one of three different looks...haven't figured out which i like the most...the natural i just wake up and roll out of bed doesn't look that kool yet..but the i just came out of the shower and my hair is all wet and it looks kind of scene looks more appealing.

the year is almost over..i new it was going to be a really fast year but not this fast...another year another set of memmories...another year...

curious question: Who am i going to my new years with this time around?
posted by Leon at 11:55 PM